It's amazing how I find strength when I don't think I have anything left! God is so good to me. I really don't understand why He gives of Himself so much when I don't even deserve it!
It's funny (in a weird way, not haha! funny) how it's easier to see a husband in a hospital bed than it is to see your own child. Having experienced both in these past 5 weeks, I didn't realize how helpless I felt until I saw Ryan lying in his bed with his hospital gown on awaiting surgery. I didn't cry though. How could I? He kept cracking joke after joke. I'm glad he was so calm, it kept me calm. As I was sitting in the waiting room, I was pondering many things. Like, why was I there by myself? Why wasn't Rich there waiting with me? We have been blessed beyond what we could ever dream to have so many friends and family offering to help in every way throughout our hospital ordeals. Why had I not thought about getting the kids taken care of that morning so he could have been there with us? At that very minute that I was thinking on these things-- it's like God was listening to me and sent a friend, Anthony, to sit with me. Thank you God for those little things that are a big deal to me! Well, I survived the surgery. I guess I should say "we" survived. Ryan was a trooper. Except for the times he was asking for pain medication, he was still cracking us up. We made it home and I slept for 4 hours! Guess I was a little tired. =]
I'm grateful for my relationship with my loving Father that allows me to get through anything that He places before me!