Saturday, August 2, 2014

My year...

I've been a little occupied this year friends, and quite honestly I'm having a hard time.  This kid here..

went and did this in February...

and this in May...

So here I sit a crying mess because Tuesday morning I send Ryan off to Ft. Jackson for boot camp.  Then he will have training to be a chaplain's assistant in the National Guard.  He is my oldest and the first to leave home.  I've been on an emotional roller coaster this year... so proud of him, yet so selfish and want to keep him safe at home.  What keeps me going though is to see his excitement when he talks about it.  This kid is ready to do something with his life and this momma is having a rough time with it.  His influential years at home have come to an end and from here on out I have to trust God that He will watch over Ryan and keep him safe.  I've heard moms talk about this time in their lives; but I never thought I would feel this heartache with there being 2 other kids still at home.  So if you would, Ryan and I would appreciate your prayers.  Thank you my friends!

It probably doesn't help my emotional level that I found out 2 weeks ago that I have an enlarged uterus with fibroids.  I am scheduled for a hysteroscopy on Aug 22, followed by a robotic partial hysterectomy on Sept 5.  Doctor reassured me that it's not cancerous and nothing to worry about.  Enough about me...

Not much going on around the homestead to blog about because I have been wrapped up in my family and our last few months with Ryan, but I have spent some time outside.  I went a little petunia crazy this year... well I should say Amariah did.  We have pots of red and pots of striped red & white in the backyard by the pool.  She picked these beauties out, love the color combination she chose...

The Twilight Viola was really pretty this year.  It looks like pastel pansy.

Something new I tried this year is Lantana.  Oh my I love these pretty flowers and beautiful leaves!  They look so good in the old whiskey barrels.  Wish they were perennial.

The pink double knock out roses bloomed out beautifully as always, along with the single knock out yellow roses (oops... should have deadheaded and cleaned up around the mulch before the pic, hehe).

I transplanted the hosta to the back yard and must say she is loving her new home... look at the lushness of those leaves!

I just realized all of my flower shots are close and don't show the overall picture.  But here is one little vignette that will greet you on the front porch.  I love how the red of the double begonias complements the red and white enamel pot that it's sitting in. The cute fence piece was a Christmas present from my sweet mother-in-law.

I think it's bedtime friends.  My little mind is an emotional wreck but coming here and putting my thoughts and feelings in writing is good therapy for sure.  I have not actually talked to anyone about my feelings so this has been good for me.  Thank you for being the best blog friends ever.  I appreciate you and your prayers!

I'm grateful for the time that I've had with my son and very thankful that God chose me to raise him!  Sure, I can look back at all the if's and where I went wrong but I choose to live in today and try my best from here on out.

Thanks for stopping by friends, miss you TONS!  Have a delightful week ahead~


Susan said...

My heart breaks for you. I will definitely pray for you and your son. That is such a fantastic picture of the two of you! He looks just like you :) He is a handsome young man and you look beautiful (and young!)
Your flowers are gorgeous!
I love lantana! The orange with pink centers are my very favorite.
I can totally relate of the fibroids. I had everything removed. I bet you will feel so much better when you get that behind you :)
I have been thinking about you and wondering if you had your boxes of fall decorations out yet since I have seen Halloween candy in the stores and Fall magazines arriving in the mail.
It is so great to see you back on here :D I will be lifting you guys up in prayer, especially this Tuesday.

Love and hugs sweet friend,

Susan Montgomery

Farmhouse prims said...

Hi Angie, Hugs to you my friend, you are just a normal mom going through the empty nest syndrome. We spend our lives, wrapped up in our kids and then when they leave home we are a wreck, I went through that too, it is hard, but I had to keep telling myself, this is the way the Lord planned it to be. My son is almost 34 and he ran a muddler race yesterday, I still felt like he was 14 and was a total wreck until he finished. I rem. my husband and I not even knowing what to do with ourselves when the kids left home, but then you start a special renewing with your spouse.
Love your beautiful flowers and prayers for you and your son. hugs, Lecia

Carmen S. said...

I have been exactly where you are, my son just finished up 4 yrs. in the Army and spent most of last year in Afghanistan. It is hard but you will find strength you never knew you had and your pride for him will over shadow the fear. Will definitly keep your boy in my prayers and (((hugs))) to you Mama :)

Carmen S. said...

P.S...good luck on your surgery and your flowers are gorgeous ;)

Ronda said...

Hi Angie,

Such a difficult time, take pride in knowing that your guidance has prepared your son for this journey that he is so eager to begin, God will watch over you all, as will my prayers.

Hoping all goes well and you are feeling better soon.

Love the petunias!..


Jessica said...

((hugs)) ((hugs)) ((hugs))

I will be doing a lot of praying for you my friend! My heart goes out to you sending your sweet son on to the National Guard! Very exciting for him! Praying God keeps him safe!

I'm sorry to hear you are having health issues. I will be praying over you more on those two days, praying all goes well.

Your garden is so lovely! I have never seen those violas before.

So glad to see you posting. I have missed you! :) It's so great to hear from you!

Unknown said...

(((Hugs))) I don't look forward to those feelings and I know I will handle it as you are :( Prayers for you my friend and wishing nothing but the best for him. Also praying that your surgery goes smoothly and that you have a steady and full recovery.

BumbleBeeLane said...

Good to see a post from you. Sounds like you raised him well and he is going to do outstanding things. I think your anxiety will turn to pride. Sending up prayers for safety in his new journey. Prayers and hugs for you. Hope you heal quickly. Amy

Fran. said...

Oh Angie I went through that last year with my baby girl going off to the Master Program in Connecticut!! I got so emotionally sick!! It's been a year now I miss her so much!! But being able to talk on the phone helps so much!! I have found me again but inside I still ache praying that after she's done with it she'll come back to Mich. Gods got a plan. I so glad you shared cuz we are all kindred spirits in a lot of ways!! I have picked up my creative side and been rockin that and Kaitlin just made me a Shutterfly book with all of creations in it!! Hang on tight my friend. I'm here. XOXO Love ya Fran.

The Old Parsonage said...

Angie I know that you are having a hard time with this. It's so hard and we know that this is the way of things, but we carried them for 9months and they were apart of us. Your son has become a wonderful man and you are right to trust in the Lord.

I had to have a hysterectomy when I was 39. I had fibroids among a ton of other things. I was cut from hip to hip, but the relief afterwards and to this day were worth it.

I will keep you and Ryan in my prayers.

Big Hugs

The Moonlit Stitch said...

What a handsome son you have! I have 5 more years before I go through this and I'm already dreading it. A mother's heart is so strong yet so delicate! Prayer for you and Ryan! I know you must be so proud. Hope all goes well for you next week. Your gardens are beautiful! ~*~Lisa

Sandi @ The Primitive Skate said...

I have 2 older boys that are 25 and 23 and still live at home with me. My 23 year old just went back to school and my oldest works, they help me out a lot around home. I don't know what I will do when they tell me they want to leave home. I cannot imagine what you are going through. I will be praying for you and your son. Take Care! Sending hugs your way.


Melinda said...

Best of luck with your upcoming surgery -- hope all goes well for you. I completely understand the emotional toll when your firstborn leaves the nest. But realize what a great job you and your husband have done to create such a wonderful person!

Unknown said...

I am so far behind in blogging and reading others blogs. I am so sorry I've missed all that has been going on in your life. {{{Angie}}} My heart breaks for you over Ryan leaving and I can only imagined your feelings. I don't look forward to that day at all. By now your surgeries are over and I pray that you are recovering nicely.
P.S. Your flowers were beautiful!