Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Discouraged and grateful

A few nights ago, I was driving home with my little man asleep.  In these rare occasions when I am alone, I either crank up the radio and sing at the top of my lungs even though I can't carry a tune  Or I have a conversation out loud with God.  This particular night, I praised Him.  I started out praising Him for the amazing Father that He is.  I then went on to thank Him for all the things in my life that are such a blessing to me (including you-- my blog sisters!).  As I was pulling into my driveway 25 min later, I was still thanking Him.  Thanking God for all His goodness, thanking Him for the abundance of blessings that overflow in my life.  As I was cleaning my bathroom yesterday, I was thinking again upon all these blessings.

Life for me right now is really good, really fulfilling.  It's easy to reflect back on all of God's goodness.  I'm just really encouraged by the fact that I'm right where I need to be in this season of my life.

Sometimes I get discouraged or disheartened.

At times, I get discouraged about my part-time job.  A whole lot of that discouragement comes in the form of my commute where I drive 20 out of the 25-mile drive in construction zones and all the crazy drivers that are in a hurry to make it to work on time.  But...I'm grateful that I have a job I love.  A job with an extremely flexible schedule.  A job that gets me out of the home for a few hours a week.  A job that draws us that much closer to not being a slave to the lender.

I get discouraged at my husband for working mega overtime hours while he spends some evenings at the ball field, some days practicing with his bands, and then sleeping the rest of the time he is home, so it seems.  Our time together is very limited.  But... I'm grateful for my husband that is healthy, able, and willing to put in all those extra hours to pay for the beautiful home we live in and put money aside for our kids' futures.

I find myself getting frustrated at my kids because sometimes it seems like I'm a single parent with Rich being out of pocket so much.  The older ones are arguing more, and just being pre-teens in general.  With Dad being away, they are needing so much from me right now.  But... I'm grateful they know what's right and what's wrong.  They know when they need to step up and help out.  They know and respect the fact that in our life it is God first, family second and friends third.

I'm really getting flustered at my spring cleaning and my home.  I don't need to be in control of my daily life, that's God's job.  But I do like to be organized and efficient!  If I am not, then I feel like I can't get anything accomplished.  Every week, I set goals for myself of what I want to accomplish for that week in terms of my home, my kids, my husband.  As I'm maturing, I'm learning that it's okay if those goals don't get met for that week.  It's okay to roll those goals over to the next week.  It's not something to stress about.  As I've learned to deal with these things, I have found that I'm not stressed out all the time like I used to be.  This past month has been a different story.  I'm allowing my frustration of a cleaning schedule that I want to be on interfere with other things.  But... I'm grateful for the large home we live in because it is comfortable for everyone to have their own space, yet a place for us all to come together as a family.

What is so interesting is that as I'm typing out my feelings, I'm realizing how all these discouragements are working together to try and get me down, frustrated, angry.  But... I'm grateful for my God that sends abundant blessings into my life.  Because of the goodness and joy that He fills my heart with, these frustrations are fleeting.  I so enjoy praising Him at any second of the day for the small pleasures and the big discouragements that grow me.

If you've stayed with me to the end of this post, I thank you.  =]  This is really more for me.  I needed to get these things off my chest and remind myself how grateful I am!

I do want to share something about my home that has been taking forever to do, but I am amazed at the results!  Some of you know how much oak woodwork we have in our home.  I have been using a finish rejuvenator by The Victorian House made right here in Skiatook, OK.  It is incredible!  These pictures are of the door to the garage that gets used numerous times daily.  Before...

I only did the door frame so you can see the difference.  After...

Yes, it is incredible!  I buy mine in Claremore but there are a few stores in Tulsa that sell it if you need to bring some wood back to life.  By the way, this is what is throwing my cleaning schedule off.  I just don't want to be spring cleaning this summer when I can be lazy out by the pool.

Thanks for visiting me and listening to me ramble on and on...  I appreciate your friendship!


Cora said...

It is when things overwhelm us that we need to step back and remember who we are, how we got to where we are, what we have, and when to appreciate it all. Slow down...easy easy.... Some things we try to accomplish are not so important as the whole picture. So what if there's a little dust in the corner or a little spider lives up there...we spent time with each other and thats MORE important and those are the memeories. Chances are if we sweep up the dust and kill the spider...more dust will replace the old and another spider will come along! In the mean time enjoy your life and family. NOW is what's important.
But above all, you my dear, are grateful and thankful.
I too appreciate you!

Renae said...

Just came across your blog from the link on Gooseberry Patch website.
I enjoy reading your blog. I too, pray outloud as I'm driving when my little one falls asleep. It's nice to know I'm not the only one! :)
I will stop back by and visit more!

Mary @ Neat and Tidy said...

I think this is the best post I've read this morning. I love your attitude of praise; thanks so much for sharing. I think I'm due for a good praise session with my Father. You have inspired me.

Valley Primitives Gift Shoppe said...

I really needed to read this post today. I have been feeling a bit discouraged in our search for a new home. Things that appeared to be so perfect in our eyes, but not in the Lords eyes. In thinking about all this; the feelings of excitement and hopes for something new over something that seems so right and then the discouragement when things don't go as we hoped, I find myself reflecting and needed to ask for forgiveness for wanting more. For not be fully satisfied and fulfilled with what we already have. We surely are truly blessed, and have been given way more than we could ever need.

After having said all that...LOL..thank you for writing your thoughts about being truly blessed with all that we have been given!

In Christ,